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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Children of Mother India : Child Sexual Abuse : SATYAMEVA JAYATE

This is an overview of SATYAMEVA JAYATE SECOND EPISODE. To download this review as a file and also to watch the episode visit http://ik7.in/ngos_47527019.html
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  Child Sexual Abuse

Love, a very sensitive and a very beautiful feeling one can ever get or give in this life. Who is the best in giving, it’s one’s mother and who’s the best to receive, obviously her children. Starting from the day they are born, it’s like a day to day refill of love, affection and protection towards the kid that is shown by the parents. It’s a well known fact that irrespective of their age, they remain kids in their parents’ eyes. Such a beautiful locale of love exists for a child from his/her parents.
Last week, we have discussed about the unconditional love shown by mothers for her children. This week, Aamir started the introduction by expressing his feelings when he was a child and now, when he has a child. Every parent has been a child once; hence everyone would have felt the same at some point of this journey. Parents tend to be cautious and protective about their children, by default. He says he hated this quality of his parents when he was a child but became more protective of his child, now and hates picnics, outings, etc., or when he away, that would make him worry about his child’s state by thinking what will happen if this happens, etc.,. Of course, the thoughts are dangerous but, what do the parents want after all, that the child is well and safe wherever he is.
In the year, 2007 the Woman and Child Development Ministry has conducted a very big research, national level questioning thousands of citizens on how protected our children (below 13-14 yrs) are and the result gave information about the % of children who have been victims of Child Sexual Abuse in the country. Any Guesses about the percentage? Aamir says, when he looked at the result he was shocked at its very sight. Let’s look at the survey.

From this image, we see that every one respondent out of the two have been victims of the sexual abuse. Which certainly means that every second child in the country has been victimized? The survey includes all the cities, villages and towns. The sexual abuse can be categorized into two types. Firstly, Severe forms, and has its victims among the respondents as follows. The causes of the severe forms of sexual abuse are stated in bullet points.

Secondly, other forms of sexual abuse, whose victims are as shown below along with some of the causes stated.

When we look at the safe places for the children, some of the answers that come to our mind are like, when they are with their parents, i.e., at their homes, at schools among children, etc.,. But a 6 year old from a middle class family in UP, Anamika who used to be mischievous and loved making colorful drawings on papers, has parents who made sure that everything was given to her on time in order to fulfill her needs w.r.t education. In the same regard, they have hired a tutor when she was in 1st standard, which destroyed her childhood. As she says, the tutor began to touch her in wrong places, taking advantage of her ignorance due to her age and the calmness provided by her parents in order to not disturb her studies. She couldn’t complain her parents as they believed in him so much and their relationship was so good that she was scared to do so and also the slightest possibility of them not believing her upon confessing. Meanwhile, she lost her confidence and was not able to make many friends, and was totally scared even when she was sitting alone thinking what if the teacher comes now. In a word, she came to a state where she thought she was not fit for anything. This has continues for 7 years even having 22 members in her family where no one could ever imagine that this was happening to their child. This scenario’s possibility is there in every house, which means that assuming that the children are safe in their own houses is not parents’ confidence, but over confidence. The abuser can be a member of the family itself, if not he begins his doings only after gaining the family’s confidence.
Let’s now listen to Cinderella from Mumbai, who appears to have a very fun filled life just like an angel with nothing missing at al. Her childhood was fun, having achieved what she wanted in life and receiving love from teachers, friends and of course, family. She made her presence in every field, be it cultural programs, playing or studies. Now works in a reputed company and has a very unique taste in music, where as she also writes and records her own songs. There is happiness and belief shining in her life, where no one can see the darkest corner of her life, which is a sorrowful incidence that took place with her in her childhood. She says she would never wish for going back to those days again, where there was a friend of her parents who used to visit them occasionally as everybody else does and was of the age of her grandfather. When she was 12-13 yrs old, almost every friend and well-wisher of their family knew that her mother was not well and had to undergo diagnosis in a hospital which would keep them away from their house for 2 days in a week. One of these days, evening time, and her brother had gone to play out; this man has come to her house saying that he had come to return a floppy that had some photos and misbehaved with her. She also added that, this should not happen with any other child and also that there was blood oozing out of her lips after he was done with the sexual abusing. After which, she was angry as well as scared of this person who was supposed to be an important person w.r.t family, that no decision was taken past him. How could she tell her parents which would have resulted in them stopping from going to diagnosis that would have had severe effects? So, she remained silent, heart wept but still, calm. And when she finally told them 3-4 yrs earlier, her mother said shockingly, why couldn’t you tell this before? But, how could she? Using what words? This is a perfect example of the cases where, even though the children has complete freedom with parents, they cannot complain that they have or are being subjects of sexual abuse immediately or sometimes later. Aamir says the one being abused should not fell guilty in this regard as there is no mistake of them and the abuser should as he is the one to get punished, further supported by Cinderella.
Are the victims only girls? This is only a misunderstanding as the research that has been conducted in 2007, 53% of the children who have undergone child sexual abuse were boys. Here is an example of Harish Iyer, who works as a reputed creative head in a big company who belongs to a middle class family in Mumbai and had grown up as every other child normally does. Not even his parents have a clue about what was happening with him in his childhood, who now leads a very fun filled and happy life. There was a maternal relative who misbehaved with him when he was of 6.5 yrs. This happened once when that person was helping him take bath, which generally relatives do in their house. The sexual abduction has increased to an extent that, Harish says if he were to be a girl, he could have easily become pregnant. The no. of abusers used to be more than one at some point. He says he had made up his mind to live two lives, one during abduction and the other without and also he never wished to live them both together.  From then, he used to stay away from men in his family thinking every man would be the same. He realized that whatever was going on with him was wrong only when he saw differences in behavior with his friends. When he tried to tell his mother using the language and words he knew, she did not believe and which the abuser had taken as a plus and continued his work, who also warned the child saying he would kill him and the person whom he complains to about the abduction. The only help, Harish says he got is from his German Sheppard dog, named Jimmy who has been with him in every moment of his life. He also says that his fantasy mind has got inspiration from the actress, Sridevi who eventually wins over the villain and becomes undefeated at the end by slapping him.  Finally, he stopped it with a lot of courage in his red eyes and veins popping out of his 11year old skin when the abused tried to do it in his room, lastly. This shows that nothing can beat a child’s courage in such issues. Harish also requests such victims to come out and show their support in providing the required awareness among the children and their parents in order to minimize the number, if possible remove. On the other hand, his mother Padma says that she couldn’t do anything even if she wanted as the abuser was her sister’s husband and thinking what will the world think if this issue come out, etc.,. And requests the fellow parents, along with Aamir to believe in what the child says and provide enough support not worrying about the world when you hear such issues even in terms of signs.
The sexual abduction though happens to children, has its own effects on its victims after growing up. Nanseen Tonse from Bangalore has been a victim of the child sexual abuse soon after taking birth till 13 years of age. Though her mother has brought an end to it, she is being faced with the effects even now. She takes alcohol and drugs. Now, she is under medication which, even missed once she becomes suicidal. Ganesh Nallari from Hyderabad has been a victim from 5 to 17 yrs of his life in his own uncle’s hands. Though he is a successful Fashion designer today, he has not been in a relationship. He says he cannot take more pain in his life. Though he admits to forgive the abuser on his death bed for whatever he has done, he still feels pain whenever he thinks about what his parents have been through in this regard.
Here is Anuja Gupta, who runs a welfare organization named Raahi that takes care and counsels the children being subjected to sexual abuse. She says children will not be able to tell their parents as they are unaware of sexual dealings at that age which is also painful for some of the adults to talk about. Firstly, the child creates a self preservation that is needed for him/her to stay protective and secondly, the abuser generally warns the child assuring harm upon him/her telling their parents or elders. Girls, when gets victimized at an early age tend to result in pregnancy in some cases which will not only have mental and physical imbalances but also result in severe health issues. Aamir summarizes her opinions by saying that the parents should make themselves, able to listen and believe in their children and support them no matter what the world says. Dr. Rajat Mitra, a clinical psychologist who has been going research study on sexual assault has studied the child sexual abusers in Bihar jail for 6 years and now, helps the New Delhi police in identifying the abusers. He says that he identifies the abusers by his psychological state when he targets some child assuming them to be adult and enjoying the abduction. There has been a workshop conducted for children for their self-protection by Aamir in the episode.
This week, Aamir ended the show by asking the citizens of the country, “Do you want a strong law on child sexual abuse?” and seeking their support in order to move the bill forward (for the same) in Rajya Sabha. Such a sensitive issue exists in India among these small innocent children. In order to help the victims, there is CHILD LINE (#1098) that has been established and is available 24/7. Now it’s our turn to take stand and support our young fellow citizens so that their innocence will not be the killer cause that will snatch away the most important part of their life i.e., CHILDHOOD.

The above article is written by a iKnowledge EDITOR : Sreelekha E
 NOTE : iKnowledge is Looking for Content Writers for many social,educational stuff. Please email us your interest at megh@ik7.in if you are interested to help NGOs. And this is a weekly work,so more people can show their interest.

Another small review by
Siddhartha Chokkakula on CHILD SEXUAL ABUSES episode

                        Children, the most fertile things on this earth. their minds, like birds in the sky try to explore this world  as far as their knowledge can. their tiny souls don't know the meaning of tiredness. the most enthusiastic, innovative minds, innocent faces, whole hearted smiles, all these collectively called "children".
             Its a shame on our part that 53% of these kids are experiencing CHILD SEXUAL ABUSES. This is even more shocking that there is no law in our constitution to handle these type of cases. this shows that our government is indirectly encouraging this child sexual harassment. Our representatives have time to fight for their parties, perform strikes, argue for hours in Assembly for  useless and incomplete projects. But no one has time to raise this issue.
           Parents, the only place where children feel safe on this earth. Even a moths kid smiles when he is thrown into air by his dad, he knew that his father nor mother will never let him down. but now a days most of the parents instead of knowing their children's interests and talents simply joining them in corporate schools, tutions, coaching centers etc making them loose their childhood. this is one reasons where kids get depressed. If these parents don't have interest or time to listen to their child's feelings how can we expect these kids to express their untold sufferings regarding such sexual abuses.
          If this issue is observed on the child's side, they're so innocent, he/she do not even know the meaning of the word sex. they'll trust any person easily who showers some care and love on them. they're falling prey for these beasts which live around us in these Concrete Jungles with out knowing moral values or having some pity towards these tiny little kids. If at all any child sexual abuse is notified in your surroundings never hesitate to drag that idiotic personality to road and show his real colours to this world and on the other hand parents  also should spend some time especially to motivate their children about good and bad.
              WAKE UP friends, be with them, they are still budding. they cant face this brutal world unless they see some support in their lives.

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